I Want to Be Like You, Dad

 “The cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon.

 Little boy blue, the man in the moon…

I wanna be like you dad,

 you know I’m gonna be like you.”

– Harry Chapin –


Are we destined to repeat the patterns of our family? 

Must we walk in the shadow of generations’ past?

Along with many other leaders who are brighter and cleverer than I, It is my belief that we are moving toward a Church brought into wholeness in God. But wholeness needs to be both individual and corporate, requiring bringing healing and restoration to those who are wounded.

Over the last several years, as I actively ministered to hurting individuals and families within the body of Christ, it has become painfully evident that leaders must experience healing in order to minister healing.  It has been well stated (though I cannot remember by whom) that it is not possible to minister effectively above the level of one’s own wholeness.  Leaders must be willing to experience wholeness, not just to preach or teach about it.

The 1980’s were characterized as the “me” generation.  This was a tumultuous period in which men and women were looking for personal or self satisfaction.  This era arrived shortly after one of the most difficult seasons in the history of the United States.  Our Western society was characterized by a “free sex, free love, free drugs, no responsibility, do your own thing” philosophy.

In the 90’s and now in the 21st Century, the “invoice now due” for that supposedly “free ride” has without question arrived!

We are now living in the age of the co-dependent, the consummate victim, the dysfunctional, the disrupted and the virtually destroyed.  There is a tremendous battle going on within society, and especially the family.

One can readily see how Satan has attempted to destroy the family unit, which is the primary institution of God.

Through legalistic teaching many Christians have become bound by religious tradition. Other believers, through the extreme behaviors of the past 25 years misrepresented as liberty, have led to severe consequences.  We are called to the law of Christ (love?) and not legalism which, when applied to one’s life, will create the true freedom to become conformed to the fullness of the image of Christ.

If you have read almost any periodical, secular or Christian, you will find articles on the dysfunctional life.  The acronyms: ACA, (Adult Children of Alcoholics); AA, (Alcoholics Anonymous); NA, (Narcotics Anonymous); ACDF, (Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families), etc., within the Church and without have become well known. Researchers claim roughly 90% of the people within the United States suffer from the symptoms of a dysfunctional family, whether they are drug or alcohol related, divorce, separation or abuse.

The truth, as presented so eloquently by Dr. Keith Miller, is that all have sinned, and sin is the greatest addiction that any of us will ever have.

But we have hope… God has provided the answers for us, clearly stated within His Word!

Because of our own individual orientation or lack of knowledge, many have failed to apply His answers universally to bring liberty to the captives.  As we read the scriptures, some may see a seeming inconsistency between the concepts of salvation as a cure versus salvation as a process.

This is because salvation is an event and a process.  It is a process of changing, growing and becoming all that God has intended us to be.

 In the 21st century and beyond, as we face the onslaught of dysfunctional families, codependents, dependency on alcohol and drugs, etc., there is a greater need for a clear understanding of the plan and power of God.  We must search for answers; truths which will lead people to real liberty in Christ!  Jesus came to liberate those who were in bondage.

His power is sufficient.

The book, I Want To Be Like You, Dad was written for souls who are seeking a rational and relational healing. It is for those who are hurting and are looking for hope and a release of God’s power, thus facilitating the process of restoration.  These souls are tired of doing the same old thing, of applying psychological techniques to their spiritual life.  They are tired of simply being prayed for and then turning around and walking away from the altar the same as they were when they came.

This book is for those courageous souls who are searching for a tool to break the chains of bondage as they counsel others.  It provides the necessary tools and techniques for counseling the wounded, and will hopefully become an important resource for strugglers. Hopefully, this book will assist them in grasping the plan, purpose and process God has ordained for their journey to wholeness.

Finally, this book is written to the Church, especially to the leaders in the Body of Christ. In Malachi 4:5, the scripture states that before the restoration of the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the children to their fathers, the spirit of Elijah would be sent by God the Father.  This outpouring of the Spirit of Elijah was first seen in the ministry of John the Baptist.

John powerfully and forthrightly confronted the sin of his generation.  Every generation must confront –through spiritual warfare — the spirit of the age, which is characterized by self-centeredness, pride, lack of true compassion, and the pursuit of selfish needs rather than the good of others.  The spirit of Elijah is a spirit of confrontation and of presenting the truth of the Gospel without compromise.  The spirit of Elijah is coming to the Church and is desperately needed to eradicate the spirit of this age and bring restoration to the precious wounded.

My prayer is that we may we be open and vulnerable, healers of the wounded of our generation – perhaps the last generation before the consummation of all history, beginning with ourselves.

Dr. Stan E. DeKoven

Buy your copy at www.booksbyvision.com

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